I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
