He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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