You're a womanizer and a bitch.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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