How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
