another moral hangover. fuck.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
