In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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