remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
