I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
