According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
