He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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