ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
