Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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