the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
