Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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