Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
