I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
