guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I take back everything I said about communal showers
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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