People in love make me want to vomit
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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