the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
