I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
