he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize