its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize