She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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