I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
