Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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