i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
