dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
