They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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