I must be too annoying 4 u.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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