i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
