I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
