I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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