Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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