So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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