i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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