I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
