She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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