He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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