What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
