we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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