Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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