America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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