How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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