Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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