Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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