Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
