I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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