If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
