twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
