i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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