Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
