I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize