ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
