I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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