Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
