Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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