It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We got so high we made milksteak
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
