She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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