So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm always down for nudity.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
